Patient :- [To doctor] I need to do plastic surgery to change my face more attractive..
Doctor :- Sure … We can do it..
Patient :- How much it will cost ?
Doctor :- Around 50,000 dollars.
Patient :- Ohh it too high …. Can you give me some reduction if i bring Plastic from home ?
lol…
Music Teacher :- [To Student] Why you close your eyes while you sing..You should keep you eyes open to impress the audience.
Music Student :- I close my eyes because I dislike to see the suffering of the audience..
lol…lol.
Teacher :- [To student] How many days are there in a week which starts with letter ‘T’.
Student :- Two days…
Teacher :- Good … tell me the days..
Student :- Today and Tomorrow…
lol …
Teacher :- [To student] Which is bigger ? Elephant or ant ?
Student :- Caunt say ….
Teacher :- Why?
Student :- We dont know the Data of birth of both Ant & Elephant. Then how can we say which is bigger…
lol …
Teacher :- 1000 meters makes a kilometer…..
ie 1000 meter = kilometer.
Then 2000 meters = How much ?
Student :- 2000 meters = Kilometer Kilometer..
lol …
Teacher :- [To Aron] What happened on 1945 ?
Aron :- In 1945 Second World War Ended ?
Teacher :- [To Rony] What is the specialty of 1946 ?
Rony :- One year completed after Second World war.
lol 
One day one dad and his son were having their breakfast..
Son : [To dad] I like to say something to you..
Dad : [To kid] Stop talking…dont talk while you eat.
Son : Ok.
(After breakfast)
Dad : What you want to tell me ?
Kid : I just wanted to tell you that there was one cockroach in your food..
lol
Johny attended an interview today. Lets see whats is his openion about that inteview.
Dad : Jhony, have you answered all questions today ?
Jhony : Noo…They asked some question’s which i dont know.
Dad : Then what you did ?
Jhony : I gave some answers which they dont know.
lol
Kid to Dad :- Dad, Mathew beat me today at class room….. next time if he beat me i will beat him.
Dad :- Why dont you complaint to your class teacher.
Kid :- Huh.. i was talking about him itself dad, Mathew our class teacher.
lol
Once a fool named Allen travelled on a taxi to his office. Here we can see what happened at the office gate.
Allen to Taxi driver :- How much ?
Taxi driver :- 100$ …
Allen gave 50$ to the taxi driver..Seeing this taxi driver shouted at Allen.
Taxi driver :- You sat comfortably in my taxicab and reached your office. Give me my money.
Allen to Taxi driver :- You too sat comfortably in the taxi and reached here…Then who will pay your fare ?
lol